Exploring the Depths Within: My Transformative Journey with Ayahuasca

Wow, all I can say is wow!

I just returned home from a week long trip in Oregon and Mount Shasta and had a trip of a lifetime.

I went out to Ashland, Oregon to meet with a special medicine woman, Shellee Rae, and the trip did not disappoint!

So, here is my in depth experience from my first ayahuasca ceremony.

I had a true FULL kundalini awakening, I’ve had other “mini” experiences in the past but this was a wildly different experience. And thank god I was in a private ceremony because I could have scared or become super distracting to others. 

First off, let me set the scene….It was in a beautiful light- filled home in the mountains, drenched in love, and the healing room evoked clean, pure, and angelic energy.

Ok, now to what happened once I was in the medicine…📷 picture an IMAX theatre.

It was a heavenly dimension, a place for divine queens and kings. I could hear my higher self, or ascended masters, or my spirit team (not sure) showing me there was no separation, just oneness = love.

Inside a room that was full of vibrant colors, made of something sturdy like marble, and animals, and spirit guides. I was getting ancient Egyptian castle vibes.

No time existed and space was expansive. Light and colors were pouring into my field: Jewel tones of golds, purples and turquoise greens. Ahhhh!!!

I was instantly overcome with a feeling of pure peace.

I heard, " Do you want the codes?" I answered, "YES!"

Downloading ancient codes from my Akashic records, I heard a voice tell me to “Remember, you've been here before."  And the space felt very safe and familiar. I began channeling kundalini yoga poses and light energy through my entire being. I had zero control over my body and started birthing light energy through my womb!

I remember saying a few things out loud: 

"I choose peace"

" I choose bliss"

"I have a choice. I can choose conflict or joy/bless." 

"I get to choose my reality"

"Let it all go",

and then I started flinging energy from my body like a shamanic shake! Dimensions started blending. I couldn't tell what was reality. It all blended as one. Then timelines started to blend, I was flashing between being in the "present moment" and being on a massage table the day before at a Lithia Springs Resort. 

It was a bit scary, like, "What is reality? Where am I? Have I cracked the matrix? Am I going to make it back in my body?" 

Opening my eyes to get my barrings:  I saw Shellee Rae in the room who was a beautiful devoted conduit of motherly love. I saw my mother and Aunt Barbara in her. 

She became a bridge between the world's anchoring me.

Then I'd started to create separateness in my mind/thoughts and try to understand reality...guessing to ground back in my body. 

Asking, " Where am I? How long does this last?" 

Then I heard, "What you resist, persists. You are a powerful creator." 

I cried out "I miss my mom" and my inner child started to wine and fake cry. Like having a tantrum! I was aware of the fake cry. It was weird because I wanted to cry harder for some reason but didn't have it in me. Then I curled up in a ball and felt Pachamama hold me in her loving embrace.

It was an eb and flow of surrender.

I could feel the ancient codes of self-love, self-worth, fierce power, cosmic embodiment, and the divine mother being downloaded into my physical body. I also felt my voice being unlocked. 

At one point, I grabbed my throat and purged energy from that chakra and felt relief. I was being guided to sing, I think I tried to audibly sing during the ceremony to allow vibration to flow through to soothe myself but then I'd run out of steam. Lol.

I heard, "You are a divine mother already, it is within you."

Overall, I felt like I was literally birthing light onto the planet, from my crown out through my womb. It was ecstatic like what people say about ecstatic birthing, where you feel pure bliss and orgasm when you give birth....all portals and dimensions open!

I felt oneness with everything and Pachamama. 

I kept repeating, "Thank you," and feeling immense gratitude inside my cells. It was a deeply humbling experience to say the least. 

So my takeaways are: 

• We are oneness; no separation...just pure bliss, and it's the mind creating the separation.

• Be patient, for all things happen in divine timing, because what is time anyway?!

• You can choose how to respond to life.

• I am already everything I long for; there is no need to chase anything!

• I am a powerful creatix!

• I am a divine mother already, with a child in the physical form or not. 

Deeply humbled by this experience. Thank you Mamacita Ayahuasca.